lenny maldwin had little going for him. at thirty-eight, he taught as a substitute in the local detroit public schools. he actively feared his students who he believed had been corrupted by the media to hate white guys like him. they were always pulling out their phones and shoving them in his faces, telling him he was wrong or insensitive or racist or homophobic, making him feel bad about himself and his place in this world, making him feel like he didn't belong in his own country. he ate lunch alone everyday in his car and watched youtube videos from other dudes who understood what he was going through, guys who didn't bother with the instalikes or whatever and the circle lights and the stupid, shallow razzamatz of the moment. guys who were deeply committed to countering the bulwark that was the younger generation's preening prescriptivist moralism, their bourgeois consumerism dressed up as "social democracy," their overt political exclusions masquerading as "woke racial justice."

it was through one of these videos that lenny first learned of a local chapter of the uprights, an intentional community of like-minded men and women who had bought up a slew of cheap properties in the abandoned parts of the city. there they grew vegetables like the hippies did but prayed together as christians and discussed openly about how they were going to take back their society. it was headed by one guy known only in the chat rooms as "big eagle." lenny knew immediately that he had to go. that that was the place for him. so one day he turned in his notice, packed up all the things he had accumulated while living in his mother's basement, and drove crosstown to throw himself at the feet of the "big eagle."

lenny didn't know what to expect. he imagined he would find a quiet community of true christians living in renovated ramblers who shucked corn cobs during bible study and weaved wicker baskets while discussing the writings of curtis yarvin. instead he found a paramilitary compound surrounded by barbed wire fences and guarded by burly men in camo gear holding assault rifles. lenny was titillated but also terrified. driving up to the gate, he told them he was here to join and to see the "big eagle." they all laughed at him of course, but waved him through, instructing him to park in the back.

he'd no sooner turned the car engine off than a giant of a man came around the side of his car and swung open the door. pulling him out by the shoulder, he was led without word to one of the nearby houses which was not quaint or charming as he had hoped, but dilapidated and in ruins. inside he found a man, like any other man, though not really, dressed in a dirty three piece suit and wearing a tattered american flag as a cape. they couldn't be serious, could they?

send him back, the man said. he hasn't the strength. i can tell already he will never make it.

wait, lenny called out. are you 'big eagle'? i've come all this way to see you. let me stay.

after a moment's hesitation, the man nodded. fine, but put him to work in the kitchens with the other women. tell them he can lug in supplies and boxes. and give the man a goddamn rifle already. do you shoot? make sure he gets out to the fields for target practice. we're not running a book club, for fuck sake.

and with that, lenny was a member of the uprights.

the work, as promised, was hard. and it went on for months. lenny wasn't allowed to sleep with the other men who laughed in his face and called him a cuck and told him he wasn't fit to be one of them. and the women said it was indecent to have a man sleep with them, even one as sad and pathetic as lenny. and so lenny went to the big eagle and told him that he had been there for months now and he had gotten no where.

the big eagle said nothing, but told lenny to come back later that night where he would be witness to a miracle. so after lenny had finished cleaning all the dishes, he made his way to the big eagle's house where he found the uprights senior leadership lined up in a circle. a small opening had been left for him, and he took his place. no one said anything to him, and for the first time since his arrival, he felt like his belong.

but then the big eagle took to the middle of the circle and began to speak in tongues. at first lenny thought this was a pentecostal thing, but nobody came forward to lay hands on him or join him in the spirit. suddenly a great puff of fire erupted and the god hadúr, warlord god of the magyars emerged seemingly from the floor. he'd long black hair and instruments of copper, and from the back of the house, a little gay boy was dragged forth, little more than puff of blonde hair with some nail polish. he screamed out for help as they cut his throat to avenge the war gods bloodlust, and hadúr fed on the child there, disappearing with its corpse in a puff of smoke.

afterwards the big eagle approached lenny. there is much still for you to learn, much power for you to cultivate if you can only hold out a bit longer. lenny was intrigued and told the big eagle that he would stick it out, hopeful that he too would one day be able to summon the warrior god and to feed him the blood of his enemies. so lenny returned to his chores.

but months went by and little else changed, until one day lenny came to the big eagle and said he could no longer wait. he had been patient enough, but the men still treated him poorly and the women regarded him as little more than a servant. this was not what he had come to the uprights for. he had resolved to return home, but hoped for one spell that he might take with him into the world.

the big eagle smiled and assured lenny that he understood. take the machete in the corner, he instructed him. lenny obliged. now raise it high above your head and bring it down forcibly on your wrist.

but i'll lose my hand! lenny protested.

those of pure and true faith will not.

so lenny brought the machete down and it ricocheted off his wrist with a clang as though he had brought it down on a slab of stone. lenny was overjoyed and immediately returned home to his mother. when she asked him where he had been, he told her that he had gone to live with the uprights and their leader big eagle. that he had been mobilized for the cause of justice in america and in reclamation of the nation-state from the libtards and the jews. to show his strength and his courage, he had been given immense new powers. he would be feared among nations.

raising the machete above his head to show her, he brought it down once more on his hand. but this time the machete cut straight through and lenny's hand tumbled to the floor in a spat of blood. he and his mother began to scream as severed limb bled out. they fled the room and rushed him to the hospital. though when he returned, the hand was nowhere to be found. it had been taken in a puff of smoke.